Greetings Everyone,

I hope you are all well today. Disclaimer: this topic will likely be controversial. These are my thoughts and opinions. I have the right to free speech as you do. We can discuss this and debate all day. I am okay with that. I enjoy it. I am not to be disrespected if you disagree. Are we clear?

2022 has been an exciting year so far. One of the reasons for this is the ongoing debates between politicians. I have never personally seen and experienced so much divisiveness in my time on this earth. Nothing is being accomplished in the United States during this time. People let their political affiliations overrule their desire who common decency.

As a Millennial, I have never been big on politics. Let me explain that I followed campaigns and politics. I have voted in most elections. I have supported numerous candidates. I have had various opinions about others. However, it was never the primary focus of my life.

In my opinion, no politician really upholds the values on which America was built. Politicians are more self-serving in terms of their personal agendas and negating their opposition. Americans suffer as a result. There are various fallacies within politics, especially lies. What happened to bipartisanship?

I am not here to sway you to choose one side or another. I love and respect everyone. Your political affiliation does not matter to me. Only your values matter. Your actions matter. Your character matters. My point is that we need to come together, and revert back to the greatness America used to be. At the same time, I am a Black woman and I never experienced a lot of the greatness that America had to offer. Politicians need to focus on how to get back to where we can focus on the issues within this nation and how to fix them.

Remember everyone, these are just my thoughts regarding politics. I have lost faith in all politicians because of the current state of affairs. Politics have become a farce. Between insurrections and a current president who is trying to appease people. I would be happy if we come up with a viable compromise. Send an email to emailpurplerayne@yahoo.com with your opinions. I wish you all peace and blessings. Enjoy your day.

Greetings Everyone,

I hope you are all well today. I have so many thoughts and opinions on various topics. I try to express them as I enjoy healthy dialogues and debates. I am very vocal at times. Maybe I am a little opinionated. Still, I feel everyone is entitled to free speech; their opinions and convictions. Please do not come for me should you disagree with what I am saying. We can disagree and I am okay with it.

One of those various topics of opinions are dating and relationships. I will not proclaim to be an expert on dating and relationships. In fact, it is quite the opposite. I have limited experience. I only really dated one person. I married and eventually divorced him, as I have stated in other posts. We are civil at the moment. Now we speak often…. never in a million years did I think we would reach this stage post divorce. That has been a lengthy process. Either way, growth and healing are important. I mean, we started off as friends. Before you ask, no there is not a chance for a reconciliation. He is remarried. As for me, after 13 years, I am good. Still, I wish him nothing but love and happiness. Even though we did not work out, many of the lessons I learned from dating and relationships stem from our failed relationship. In fact, in retrospect, there are many things I could have done and/or handled differently. Life goes on and we learn from our mistakes.

I have tried dating other men after my relationship ended. Believe me, I have tried. Unfortunately, the vast majority of people I meet only really want sex. I have never had a lot of sexual partners to begin with. I am not that easy as many of the men I meet assume. I have severe trust issues. I do not really let people get close to me. Honestly, there are some people I would sleep with many of whom only view me as a friend or family member. No, I am not against having sex with people. I rather take the time to get to know someone first. Yes, I have slept with people at the initial meeting. I have learned that it is not a good idea for me. Do whatever you want and do what makes you happy. I am not here to judge or sway anyone. I can only speak for myself. I follow vibes from people and make decisions based on that. Based on my experiences, I have been celibate for a number of years now. COVID heightened my sensitivity. All I am saying is if someone is trying to pursue me, I have no interest in immediately pushing for sex. It does not take much to turn me off. Solely discussing sex and nothing else is a major turnoff to me. I am not pressed to have it. It can be a great thing depending on the person.

This brings me to my next point. If in the rare occasion I give you my phone number, please do not blow up my phone with incessant calls and text messages. First, I currently have two jobs and I am super busy every day. I do not really talk on the phone much unless it is someone who I am very close to, such as my mother or one of my friends. Never demand for me to call you immediately. I do not do well in those situations. I do not control anyone and I do not like to be controlled. This is especially the case if you really do not know me.

Let me explain: I recently met man at my part time job last week. He caught me off guard and asked for my phone number. I reluctantly gave it to him. He immediately started demanding I call him. He also texted my phone. I entertained it because I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I try to give people chances. Unfortunately, more often than not I regret giving men my number. This man immediately asked me if I am sleeping with someone. He claimed he asked because he does not want to be in a situation with a woman who is sleeping around, since he wants to be the only person receiving the benefits. My issue with this is he does not know me from Adam. I am also not committed to anyone and I am free to do whatever I choose. Additionally, there is a lot of red flags that I have already picked up on. I pay close attention to what people say to me and their actions. This guy basically explained he is a bum. He is about to break his lease due to issues. Plus. he claimed he is not on good terms with his children’s mother because of money. He also told me he is “48 with young man tendencies.” This does not scratch the surface of the foolishness this man has said to me. People are who they are. We can’t change that. All I am saying is that I would rather be by myself than entertain the foolishness I always receive from men.

Essentially, I have been through a lot. I have been stalked and in dangerous situations. I have encountered some crazy people. Through it all, I am extremely fortunate I am able to share my stories. I am used to men breadcrumbing me. I am also used to many false and broken promises. I can tell you all some stories. As I have said many times before, my life is a sitcom.

Now, I spend a lot of my time sharing my experiences with my teenaged niece. I treat her just like I would my own child if I had one. I like to think that we are close. She says I smother her, but I promise you my intentions are good. I am someone who cares too much. I try to be for her what I wish I had. With that being said, I share various stories with her, many of which are my dating tales. She finds them entertaining. Here are my goals with sharing my stories with her:

1. I teach her to love herself and know her worth. These are things I struggled with throughout my life. Because of the way I look, men still assume I have those same poor self esteem. I am a work in progress and I am healing and evolving.
2. I teach her to peep game. All attention is not good attention. Pay attention to what people say and their actions.
3. Be aware of someone trying to exude control over you, especially if you do not know them.
4. Pat attention to red flags.
5. Do not accept foolishness.
6. Be vocal about the things you will and won’t accept.

As always, I am thankful for all of your support. Feel free to email me at emailrayneelise@yahoo.com. Be blessed and enjoy your day.

Greetings Everyone,

I hope you are all well today. It has been a while since I have posted as I have been dealing with many things and juggling a lot simultaneously. Welcome to 2022. I hope your year is going well so far. 2021 has been rough for so many people. I wish peace and comfort to everyone who has lost loved ones and friends in recent months. I have personally lost a lot of people. Many of them are with me in spirit daily. I strive to keep their memories alive. I am truly thankful to have had encounters with so many wonderful people over the years. I truly believe we all cross paths for a reason. I am also a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I know I say this a lot.

I am a person of faith. I am more spiritual than religious. My religious beliefs differ from most based on my upbringing. I was raised Baptist Christian by my mother and Seventh Day Adventist by my father. In terms of my beliefs, I believe in God. I have a relationship with God. I am open-minded and I love learning about religions and other people’s belief systems and ideologies. I have friends, family, and associates of every background possible. While I do not always agree with the various ideologies, I still respect everyone for who they are. It is rare I dissolve relationships due to different beliefs. However, when this should happen, please understand I tried hard to make it work with the other person. Somewhere down the line, we were unable to meet in the middle.

I am an empath and I have a Social Work background. I believe in meeting people where they are at. Additionally, we can all stand to learn a thing or two from one another. According to the Myers-Briggs Personality Indicator tests, I have the rarest personality type: INFJ, which stands for Introversion, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging. I am overall and have been different from most people. I believe strongly in changing the world and making it a better place – maybe a utopian society. I know this is unrealistic. There are many people who do not think the way I do. So, I try to be the best person I can be. I am not here to sway anyone in one way or another. My only request is that people display kindness and a little empathy because one never knows what someone else is going through.

I try hard to treat everyone the way I would like to be treated. I am human and not always perfect, but I make a strong and valiant effort. No matter what happens to anyone, my conscience is clear. I am someone who tries to help everyone. I have helped so many people in my life who were not always good to me.  I also try to understand someone without judging them. I try to be a good person in God’s eyes. I am super flawed. I use profanity, especially while driving. I have thoughts that are unsavory at times. I am a sinner. I rarely attend church. I admit this and I am working on my flaws. I am not everyone’s cup of tea. I am okay with that. Now that I am older, I am perfect as God intended for me to be.

I have spent a good portion of my life not liking myself for various reasons. These reasons included but were not limited to the fact that I did not feel pretty enough. I was mistreated by so many people, and I felt unwanted and unloved. I did not think I was smart enough. I have darker skin. I am short and considered to be morbidly obese. I was all around different, and I never fit in.  After the dissolution of my marriage, it forced me to take a hard look at myself. I decided then that I could change the things I could and not worry about the things that did not matter. In my early 30s at the time, I had to build the foundation of self-love which I never had before. It was hard. While I am sad my marriage did not work out, I am grateful for the experiences (both good and bad) because they shaped me into the stronger woman that I am today. I am unapologetic about who I am. It is most important that I like myself. I have more self-love which I need to do. I have come a long way. However, it is extremely hard to undo decades of damage – some self-inflicted and some which were caused by other people.

No matter what happens in life, healing is hard. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. There is no timeframe on healing, as everyone’s healing process differs. Being the way I am, things affect me on a deeper level than the average person. I understand now that it is okay. If you acknowledge your pain and grow from it, you will be okay. That is what I had to do. I am more vocal now than I have ever been. I advocate for myself since I have learned no one will do it for me. I strongly believe in manifestation and the law of attraction. I am working hard on having a more positive outlook on life. Am I always successful with positivity? No, of course not. It is a daily process.

You may be asking yourself why I am writing this post today. My answer is simple. It is because I wanted to express many healing thoughts, I learned in 2021 which I am implementing in 2022 and beyond. Life is too short to be anything other than happy. Am I happy now? No, not really. I have so many things I am juggling. Since late 2021, I have worked two jobs. I worked at two national retail companies part-time in addition to working at my full-time job. It has been a journey. Between the extreme tiredness and being overworked, it felt pointless. Not to mention some of the daily interactions. I left the first part-time job because they were not treating me right. I was scheduled nearly full-time hours for this job too. There were other issues too, but I will simply say that it was not a good fit for me at all. This was especially because of the life stage I am at right now. I was also offered a position at the second place where they were offering a higher salary. The second place has its issues too. It is an overall better fit, and I am grateful.

I also help my elderly parents daily. I do not mind, as the Holy Bible says to honor your mother and father. I try my best. I do other things for people when I can squeeze them in. I need a vacation. I work a lot and I rarely take off. I know I need to improve my self-care. It is something that I have always struggled with. I have some health issues which include severe migraines. Overall, my health is fair. I need to diet, exercise, and lose weight because I really want to have a baby within two years. It is the one thing that I always wanted in life. The fact that I was never able to have children always made me sad. Yes, I know I can adopt a child. It is not what I wanted. I am slowly making peace with it. We will see what happens. If it is God’s will, then my dream would be fulfilled. I am thankful and blessed either way.

Here is what I want for each of you. Think about your life to date and everything you experienced. Think of what you want to accomplish. How do you plan on meeting your goals? What are you willing to change? Lastly, what are you hoping to gain? These are important to address moving forward. I wish nothing but happiness, joy, love, and peace for everyone. I wish you all heal from past traumas. Look at your strengths, weaknesses, beliefs, and the experiences which shaped you to be the person you are. Grow. Strive. Thrive.

Thank you all for your time and support. I love you all. Peace and blessings.

❤ Rayne Elise ❤

Hi Everyone,

This post is something which has been on my mind for a while. I might be out of line writing this post. If I am, let me know. Words have an impact on most people. A person like me is more affected by words than the average person. I have one of the rarest personality types. I know and accept that I am not personally everyone’s cup of tea. However, I am tired of people thinking they can talk to me any kind of way. I am super easy going, quiet and mild mannered, which is probably detrimental. It allowed people to think I will accept anything. I won’t. I might not advocate for myself as well as I should; however I refuse to be disrespected. Respect is earned and not freely given. I will respect anyone, until I am given a reason not to.

My point is people should be very careful of how they talk to me. I am not saying to walk on eggshells. However, proceed with caution. Here is why: it takes very little to upset and/or anger me. I am working on that. I do not forget the words that are spoken to me. I tend to remember more than I should. It affects me more than it should. It is my assumption that my demeanor has given people the perception that it is okay when it isn’t. That is my fault and I take ownership of that.

I hate condescension more than anything. I hate being talked down to. I do not treat people like that no matter how i am treated. Please understand my reaction to people is based on how I am treated. Do not be fooled by my niceness. Be careful how you talk to people because you never know what someone is dealing with. Perception is everything. Tread lightly. That is all I am saying.

Stay blessed everyone. Be careful of the words you speak, as there can be consequences. You have been warned. Take this as you choose. I said what I said. Peace

Hello Everyone,

I hope you are all well today. I know many people have began returning to work post COVID. I in my office two days per week. I am not thrilled, but it is what it is. I am grateful I have a job at all. It has its challenges, since I went back to partially driving and partially commuting. I have to park my car at a local metro station and catch a train to work because it is too expensive to park at my job. I am no longer able to access the garage due to seniority. I am grateful I am teleworking the other days. Remember, I am introverted and I am happier at home and in my own space. I personally feel I am more productive that way since I work at my own pace. I am flexible either way.

Since returning to the office, I am starting to pay for gas again. Since the closures stemming from the coronavirus began, I was lucky if I filled my car up with gas once per month. I do not drive that much, especially if I do not have to. There are a lot of crazy drivers where I live. My city is notorious for car accidents, traffic and horrible roads. Did I also mention there is a lot of construction? Getting back in the groove has honestly been challenging for me.

In the midst of going back to a routine, I am experiencing a lot of extenuating issues that have been impacting me. As I stated in another post, I am having some health issues. I am having surgery this week and I am nervous. I am undergoing a lot of fertility testing. We will see what happens. Additionally, I have been attending various medical appointments with my father. That has been especially taxing too. Multiple appointments can be tiresome, stressful and costly. Please pray for us if you believe in prayer. I need all of the prayer I can get right now. My story gets deep.

Taking on a lot of stress is not good. I am speaking from experience. I am stressed out. I am sure a lot of you are too. I cannot begin to imagine the situations you all are experiencing. If you are struggling mentally like I am, please seek help. In being perfectly honest, my mental health state is fragile and deteriorating. I am dealing with a lot of work in addition to everything else. I am not handling it well. I am near my breaking point. At times, I feel like I am alone. My family members and minimal support system tell me I am not alone. Self care is essential. It is truly something I need to work on. I do not focus on myself enough and it has detrimental consequences. Please take my advice and take heed. Yes I know I need to take my own advice.

I think everyone needs a support system. I am grateful for mine. Without them, I would be worse off than what I am. I like to think that I am a strong person. However I really need strength and more support right now. I have one friend in particular who does call me close to everyday to check on me. He tries hard to cheer me up when i am sad. Unfortunately with everything affecting me at once, my mood has not been good. I will admit I have not been the easiest person to interact with. In my defense, I was dealing with extreme health issues on top of everything else. Don’t worry, I am a little better for now. He calls me Eeyore after the Winnie the Pooh character. I am moody. I will not Iie to you.

I know COVID adversely affected everyone. I am sure we as a whole will never return to normal. We need to do the best we can to adapt to this new normal. Now many companies are requiring vaccines and/or imposing mandates to combat the coronavirus. No matter where you stand on the mask/vaccine debate, please be safe. I am not here to argue about it either way. It is my opinion that everyone needs to protect themselves.

The purpose of this post is to talk about how things are going for everyone post COVID. It is a discussion that is needed. Check in with your family members and friends. Some people might not be okay. Some people, such as myself may struggle to vocalize their feelings and/or seek help for their issues. It is my belief that there are many people struggling in silence. My entire life, I have been made to feel like people do not care about me or my feelings. Over the past several weeks, people have been paying more attention to me and my demeanor. I know I am not the only person who is struggling mentally right now. I am not ashamed to say that.

I pray your situation improves. Whatever you are facing will improve. Please stay strong. Continue to be kind since no one knows what battles another person is facing. Be honest with your mental health. Have honest discussions. Try to adapt to this new normal. Count your blessings. Be blessed. Stay strong. Remember you are loved if no one tells you that. Together, we will make it. Hopefully, COVID-19 (the coronavirus) will be fully eradicated soon. However, we all need to do our part to make sure this happens. I am grateful for your continued love and support. Feel free to email me at emailrayneelise@yahoo.com.

Peace and blessings everyone ~ Rayne Elise

Greetings Everyone, 

I hope you are all well today. I want to discuss something that impacts so many people. I have heard countless stories about the health disparities between minorities and their counterparts. Various celebrities have also discussed this trend. It is said the health of people of color is not always taken seriously. It is not always about their socioeconomic status. I feel a lot of it is racism. I cannot speak for anyone but myself in terms of this experience.

It is no secret that I have some health challenges as an African-American woman. I have always been overweight and I do not dispute that it does not contribute to the health issues. I have seen many so-called medical specialists over the years. Some were better than others and really tried to get to the root of my issues. They would try to see which medications and remedies worked and which ones did not work. They cared and did their jobs as medical professionals. Then there were those other doctors who really did not care. They would tell me I am fat and losing weight was the answer to all of my issues. I even had one doctor once who was so rude that he berated me. He was extremely hostile and unprofessional. Many people of all backgrounds gave him bad reviews for his demeanor and lack of decorum when it came to their medical care. I even went to the medical board in my home state and field a complaint due to my personal issues with the doctor. Of course nothing came from it. 

I have had so many doctors come and go. It always seem Iike the better ones always left the practices they were at. I had to constantly build a rapport with someone new. I do not gravitate towards many people. I never did. However, when I found a doctor who I really liked and one who did right by me; it hurt whenever they left the practice. Please understand, I have nothing against anyone and I will work with anyone. All I am saying is I can tell who really cares and who does not.  I can recall so many doctors I was close to – usually people of color who seemed to care more about me as a person of color than a lot of non-ethnic doctors who only see me as a number or a paycheck. Here is why I say that: they did not always take heed of my concerns. They were often dismissive and nonchalant. Recently, I called one doctor on an emergency basis. I could not reach my doctor. She was the emergency doctor on call. Her attitude was “you are not my patient. I am not doing anything for you. I might forward a message to your regular doctor. You can either wait for him and/or go back to the emergency room.” I was so taken aback by her candor that I cried for hours. I did eventually speak with my doctor and I told him about my experience with the doctor on call. What really hurt me in this instance was the lack of compassion and empathy. 

I know doctors have it rough. I can understand the stress and strain they endure on a regular basis. I have great respect for doctors and anyone who chose to be in the medical field. At the same time, all medical professionals took an oath to treat patients. What I experienced was unacceptable. It hurt me deeply. I am one of the most easy going and mild mannered people you will ever meet. I try really hard not to irritate anyone. At the same time, what I was going through health wise that day was something extreme and I would not wish that treatment I received on anyone. I can tell you all various stories I personally experienced like this one. 

I am so thankful for all of the good doctors I had over the years. They made some of my issues better. They were kind and patient with me. They also addressed all of my concerns. They were will willing to go the extra mile. They are rare and I will never forget them. 

On the other hand, there are more doctors who are the opposite who really do not care about their patients. It is my  belief that they need to do better. I am happy that the disparities are being addressed. People continue to address your health concerns and disparities. It is my hope the medical field improves for all people.

Stay encouraged. Be blessed. ❤ Rayne Elise <3. 

Greetings Everyone, 

I hope you are all well today. I want to discuss something that has been weighing heavily on me. I may have mentioned this in previous posts. I am an empath. Some of you might not have heard this term before and you may have no clue what I am discussing. The term “empath” was described by the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary as “one who experiences the emotions of others: a person who has empathy for others.” (Merriam-Webster.com/dictionary/empath Accessed 06/23/21).

Why is this relevant? My answer is because there are varying traits, attributes and characteristics of people. We are the same in some ways, but vastly different in others. There are a multiple of personality types. I have been tested repeatedly over the years, and I have one of the rarest types. For more information regarding personality types, check out The Myers-Briggs Personality Test (https://16personalities.com/free-personality-test).  My personality has been determined to be “INFJ or Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging.” This is considered to be one of the rarest personality types. I think this is one of the reasons why I am mostly misunderstood. Being and empath with my personality type is hard because I am more sensitive than I want to be and things affect me differently than most. I care too much and I worry. I remember most interactions and conversations. Most people who know me personally views me as weak, which could not be further from the truth. As a result, people feel comfortable to think that they can say and do many things to me. 

I have very few friends. I have some friends that I am closer to than others. For the most part, my friends and I rarely speak now. Most of the time, I am the one to initiate. Yes I know everyone is busy and living their own lives. This is why I have been staying more to myself. I do have one friend who I speak to via text and phone nearly everyday. I am grateful for that. It is rare that I gravitate towards people and form solid relationships. 

I am not an overly sociable person and I have never been. I am very quiet (unless I am close and/or comfortable with a person). I really hate small talk from people who are unfamiliar to me, especially those on my various social media platforms. I am active on mostly Facebook and TikTok. I have Twitter accounts, which I rarely use. I no longer have an Instagram page, but people are pushing for me to create another account. We will see in the future. Unfortunately, most of the time people reach out to me is because they want something. I am not saying this is the case with everyone – just the majority. I really wish people stop flooding my inboxes for me to be their sugar babies; or men in foreign countries who are seeking women to marry for a green card. I am sick and tired of hearing about business and/or people wanting me to buy something from them, especially if I do not know them. People are inbox me because they think I am attractive, or they are enamored with my body type (so I have been told). Many want sex or relationships. I decline both because I am not really interested in dating at this time. I will get into more of this later on in this post. Basically, I am growing increasingly frustrated with the influx of friend requests on my platforms from unknown sources. I accept some, but then it becomes overwhelming and I start rejecting them. One of the few TikTok videos I did was on this subject. 

Because of my personality and my empathic  nature, I am a bit socially awkward. I do not do well in most social situations. I rarely go out. I was one of the people I know who were least affected once we had to do mandatory social distancing and quarantine because of COVID-19 (coronavirus). I was fine being alone. I was even happier to be able to telework. I am not thrilled that I will be returning to my office soon, but that is for another discussion. I enjoy being alone more than anything else. Most social outings drain me immensely. I become so inundated with my surroundings that I become more depressed, which takes me a while to recharge. I get this way when I take on too much not only for myself, but for others. It takes very little to alter my mood. The best thing to keep me as upbeat as possible is music, which is my calming factor. If you see me, I will always have music playing. If you see me driving, you may see me singing to my music. It relaxes and comforts me in ways people could never understand. I also appreciate my friend who shares lots of music with me. He recently drove with me to visit my aunt and he was surprised, but very elated about that playlist which consisted of his favorite genre of music. I love all types and I have the most diverse playlist in the world. Because of my inability to form solid relationships, I cherish friendship and those closest to me. 

I have spoken in depth about my divorce and how it took such a huge emotional toll on me. I have had a couple of flings which went nowhere afterwards, but I have not really dated. In fact, the friend I just described is the only man that I let become close to me after my ex-husband. While I have healed some; I am still recovering from the deep rooted pain from the ordeal. I am grateful we are currently civil, but I did not expect the aftermath to be so hard. Sometimes I am mad at myself for not being further along in my healing, but I understand things take time. Yes I am over him, as I was mentally checked out for three years prior to us separating. However I tend to repress my feelings and emotions, which is unhealthy and ultimately manifests itself into ugly ways. I have extreme trust issues, especially when it comes to men. 

Many men I meet do not have the best intentions when it comes to me. Please understand I have tried. However, I do not want to be I those unsavory situations anymore. I have a thick wall up and I don’t even try anymore. People are upset with me because of it. I am told I should be meeting and dating multiple men, playing the field and having sex. I have been abstinent since January 2018. After two dangerous and traumatizing sexual encounters with different people, I made the decision to stay single. I did try to date again in late 2020, early 2021, but once again that man played games and had one too many excuses. We would make plans in advance. The day of, he would cancel on me due to car issues; death in his family; because he was working overtime; he had no money; and, lastly he forgot. After doing this back and forth for a few months, I questioned him about it. He ghosted me immediately afterwards. He tell me this is a part of life, which I fully understand. 

Yes I do have someone in mind who I would happily date if I were given the opportunity. I am certain that I have once again been friend zoned. Sadly, I am used to it. I am okay with being friend zoned. However people tend to rely on me in a manner which I feel goes beyond friendship. I am in my feelings right now for this reason. However I understand people will treat you how you allow them to. 

The point of this post today is to explain some of the reasons why I am the way I am. I know I am flawed and I have issues. At the same time, I am wonderfully and uniquely made. I am learning to embrace me fully. I want to surround myself with people who want the same. Here is what I ask you all – please become familiar with those who are around you as well as their intricate personalities. There is a reason why everyone is who and how they are. Also, be aware of those who are more sensitive and emotional. I firmly believe people as a whole do not know what a person is battling. I have so many personal battles that people don’t understand. People are scarred and many are trying to heal. It is okay for everyone to be different. Our differences are what makes the world go round.

Thank you for your continued love and support. You have no idea how much it means to me. I love you all. Stay blessed. 

❤ Rayne Elise ❤

Greetings Everyone,

I hope you are all well today. With everything that has been going on in the world today, it made me think. COVID-19 has affected so many aspects of life as we know it. Things will likely never be the same as they were prior to COVID. I am certain this is the new normal. What now? We continue to evolve and adapt. So many people have passed away within the past couple of years. I have done other posts regarding this topic. Life is short and fleeting. That is why I try hard to treat people good. I show love and compassion as much as possible. While my intentions are good, I am not always successful with the intended purposes. I say all of this to say that no matter what happens to anyone, my conscience is clear.

I often wonder how I will be remembered when I am gone. I know that I do not really want a funeral. My immediate family members have strong opinions about this. I have endured a lot of adversity in my life. I did not receive the best treatment from people. I had a limited number of friends and people I were close to. I never made it a point to get to know people. I don’t like phoniness, nor do I want a lot of signifiers. Remember me how you choose. I hope people remember my better traits more than my flaws. With this mentality, I do not want to live with any regrets.

I have always been the type of person who would settle for anything. Now, I am vocal about how much I am willing to accept. Many people are not thrilled that I finally found my voice; however I decided (1) it was time; and (2) it was crucial to my pursuit of happiness. I have grown a lot and I remain a work in progress. I never really experienced happiness. I am fully aware happiness comes from within. I wish you all find and maintain your happiness. No one can truly make you happy, but yourself. Remember happiness is a choice. I am happier than I have ever been. I attribute this to counting my blessing more than my problems as well as being grateful that I am still alive. We never know when our earthly journey will end, which is why I try to be cognizant of my purpose.

First I had to learn how to love myself. No one will ever love you more than you love you. The best relationship you can have is with yourself. This was a hard lesson I learned. Once this is mastered, everything else falls into place. I am learning to put myself first more; focus on me and to set boundaries and limits with people. I do more of what makes me happy.

My sister and I were having a conversation about this very topic this evening. Everyone knows someone who is very miserable. Remember the adage that misery loves company. For most of my life, this as me. In fact I can recall a conversation with my best friend from several years back when he told me that he thought I enjoyed being miserable, hurt and unhappy. It deeply saddened me that he had that negative perception of me. I knew I had to change. This was especially the case after my divorce. Fie years later, I am not as happy as I could be, but it is an improvement.

I wish nothing but the best for everyone. I wish you all think long and hard about your happiness. Life is too short to be unhappy. Count your blessings instead of your problems. Keep striving. Thank you all again for your continued love and support. It means a lot. I love you all. Stay blessed. Pursue happiness.

Peace, love and joy!

❤ Rayne Elise ❤

Greetings Everyone! I hope you are all well today. With each passing day, I think long and hard about lots of things. This process of evolving is ever changing and can have ups and downs. The thing that I am learning most is to trust this journey where ever it may lead. I know this is easier said than done. However, I am a firm believer that there is a reason and purpose for everything. I just wish I knew what I was supposed to gain from everything ahead of time. In my opinion, things happen as they are supposed to. Please understand that I am in no way, shape or form an expert. I am just a woman who has experienced a lot. I speak about a lot of my individual experiences and how they shaped me to be the person I am today. I am someone who appreciates all experiences, whether good or bad for the lessons I gain from them. I try to explain how I deal with things, as I tend to view the world differently from most people. We are all unique and different with varied personalities, beliefs an experiences. Still, it is my belief that we can all stand to learn a thing or two from one another.

Here is the purpose of today’s post: many of the people in my life lean on me a lot, mostly for emotional support. At one point in time, I studied to be a therapist. Unfortunately various circumstances prevented me from completing this training. At the same time, I realized I needed a therapist because I always had a lot of issues. My journey now is to work through, heal and recover from them. I don’t want people to experience some of the obstacles I have in my life. At the same time, I am a stronger person. Yes, I know there are people who had it worst than me. I don’t diminish anyone’s experience or perception. People are quick to do that to me, which I hate. Every feeling is valid and no one has the right to tell another person otherwise. This could be a reason why suicide rates are high. Lately, I have been seeing a lot of articles about people who are suffering in silence because they fear judgment from those people who are around them. I too battled suicidal ideations in my life, so I understand. I recall a conversation I had with a friend many years ago on this topic. That will be a later post.

I don’t mind people leaning on me. I am honored and blessed that people trust me to share their feelings enough to seek my advice and feedback. Others elect to vent since I am a good listener. My clients also thank me a lot for listening to them and exuding the kindness that many workers in my profession do not. I am an empath who is sensitive and emotional. I am also introverted which means I observe and absorb emotions and vibes from people. I honestly care too much. I try to be what I wish people were for me, much to my detriment and often disappointment. While people feel relieved or better about their respective situations, I am often drained and stressed out.

I am still learning how to balance everything from my own situations. It is hard some days since I really don’t have anyone to lean on when I am in need or really going through stuff. The only person I really have is my father. I am thankful we are super close. I don’t think there is a person alive who understands me the way he does. At the same time, my father is elderly and I don’t want to burden him. He deals with his own issues. Sometimes other people in my life listen to me vent; however, they are often going through their own stuff, which places mine in the background. I can honestly say that I wish many things were different. There is this adage that you can’t pour from an empty cup. In order to be able to help anyone else, you have to help yourself. Now I understand this since I have been experiencing it first hand.

I enjoy helping people. This is one reason why I chose to be a social worker. My father often tells me that I need to clear my head and focus on myself. I will finally take this advice. I have to because I feel like I am losing myself in the way I am going. I wil not stop being a listening ear or heping people. I am startng to realize that this might be my calling and purpose in life. I am cutting back. I will no longer go out of my way to check on people to make sure they are okay since it is rare anyone does that for me. I am working on being assertive and setting boundaries and limits. This is essential for my mental health and growth. I have to remain healthy in order to follow my calling.

I encourage all of the “healing personalities” like myself to do the same. We have to recharge and decompress from the weight of emotions and baggage. We have to focus on healing and freeing ourselves from the traumas that we don’t necessarily speak of. More importantly, we need to deal with the stressors of daily life. If you are like me, you need outlets to cope. I am finding more outlets. At the present time, my favorite outlets are music; cooking; binge-watching my favorite television shows on various streaming platforms, such as “Hell’s Kitchen.” We all need to find something we enjoy to cope. Life is hard enough and we are not immune to the trials and tribulations of life. Life does not come with an instruction manual. No two people will view and experience life the same way. That is why we need to be sensitive to the needs of others. With that being said, my people who like to do all of the leaning on others: while venting is good, people are inundated with their own issues and they can’t always deal with your issues too.

I tried therapy to deal with my issues. I have been in and out of therapy since childhood. I have come to learn therapists tend to be more screwed up than you are. My last therapist took the cake. I went to her for two years. I stopped in March 2020 around when COVID happened. She focused on discussing her family, children, and her personal life more than she helped me. Did I also mention she told me a lot of her other patient’s business? No names were given, but it was a bit much. Overall, therapy was ineffective for me. Maybe because I never found the right provider. At this time, I am not looking for another therapist because I don’t have the time or money. This is why I advocate working on yourself by taking a hard look at everything. Change what needs to be changed. Focus on what’s important. Most importantly, continue to grow. Everyone needs someone to lean on. I don’t dispute that. My point is that people should check on those who are constntly leaned on. The strong ones become weak at times. It is okay. Remember that we all will rise and fall at one point or another. We won’t have all of the answers. The important thing is that you rebound and recover.

Thank you all for your continued support I see that this “Disovery Journey” blog is starting to gain attention. I enjoy feedback. Feel free to email me at emailrayneelise@yahoo.com. Enjoy your day Be blessed.

❤ Rayne Elise ❤

Greetings Everyone,

I hope all is well. I want to discuss something today that I feel is important. We are facing so many issues today that challenge the way we as people interact. I am not just referring to the aftermath of COVID-19 (coronavirus). With the “Me Too Movement,” people should be more cautious about how they approach people. Here is my story…

Recently, one of my friends told me his friend is interested in me and he would like to get to know me. Since this person is a friend of my close friend, I politely declined. I am not actively dating right now because I am focused on healing and getting myself together. I work a lot and I don’t really have adequate free time for dating, which most men want. My friend knows this; however he doesn’t know if I were really interested in dating, it would be him. We eluded to it. I don’t think he and I will ever date. I am just happy being his friend.

I was given the name and number of his friend, which I saved to my phone. However, I never called him or intended to. I have heard this man in the background while I was talking on the phone with my friend more than once, which instantly turned me off. He was insistent that I talk to him. The most recent time was a couple of days ago… I was told the man said hi. I said hi. He proceeded to ask me why I never called him. He also told me he has been trying to talk to me for nine months. In my mind, I was thinking he a lot of nerve and audacity. I do not like to be questioned. I do not handle it well. I am vocal about that. Yes, I am an open book, but this dude doesn’t know me from Adam. He further said that he sent me a friend request, which he wanted me to accept. He did not send me a request. I did have friend requests, but none were from him. I probably wouldn’t have accepted it any way. My friend had another call and had to go.

Later that day, my friend called me back and it was the same siutation. This time, the person told me he wanted to date me and he wouldn’t hurt me and so forth. He and my friend were arguing because the dude assumed my friend poisoned my view of him. No, my friend did not taint my view of this man in any way. I was turned off by his insistance. My friend had already told this person that I was not interested. I have repeatedly asked my friend what he told this guy about me for him to come off so hard. He claims his friend knew about my plight at my full-time job. Additionally, the guy overheard me speak, which he thought I was intelligent. I might be wrong, but I think my friend mentioned this person is a bit of a womanizer. Either way, it was my decision to not interact with him. I hung up the phone because I was so angry about the exchange. I told him directly that I was not interested in getting to know him, which seemed to really set him off.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind meeting people and going out. Just understand that I am extremely guarded after my last relationship and from dealing with people I met afterwards. I am damaged. I am not too trusting of people on their intentions. Unfortunately, I have been through a lot and I don’t want to be mistreated. Yes, I know everyone won’t use and mistreat me like people from my past did. Let me explain this: I am a highly intuitive person. The more I discover myself, the more I feed off of the vibes I receive from others. I am also introverted, which means I am selected in terms of who I gravitate towards. Based on my experiences, my tolerance and patience level is dwindling. I explained to my friend that I did not like the way his friend not only approached me but how he questioned and insisted after I declined. I further told my friend that people ned to come at me correct since I am not like most people.

Here is the purpose of my post: too often, people try to force themselves on other people. I am not referring solely to rape. I mean they try to push themselves on other people, even after they are rejected. I have even heard stories of people being killed when they reject or decline a person’s advances. That scares me. People need to understand when rejection happens for any reason, it is a part of life. Do not question it. I cannot speak for anyone but myself, but I find it to be reprehensible. We all have our beliefs and personalities. However, with the “Me Too Movement” and rape culture, I think people need to chill out on insisting a person talk to them. These are the rules of engagement.

Please let me know what you think. I can be reached via email at emailrayneelise@yhoo.com. Thank you for your time and continued support. Enjoy your day. Be blessed.

❤ Rayne Elise ❤