Greetings Everyone,
I hope you are all well today. Motherhood is and was my hugest dream. In fact, I had baby names chosen since I was twelve years old. I have not had children of my own yet. One thing you will learn about me is that I love children. I have always been very maternal, even as a toddler.
I am a firm believer that we all cross paths for a reason. I am thankful every day that I have two wonderful nieces. It is possible they will be the closest daughters I will ever have. I am okay with that. For nearly eighteen years, I have been an auntie. While I love both nieces, the eldest niece has a special place in my heart. I have so many wonderful stories and memories involving us. My favorite memory and story I share most is the day I volunteered at her Head Start program. She did not want to play with me; however, she sat at a nearby table and glared at me and her female classmate who wanted to play with me. If looks could kill….. The purpose of my sharing this story is because it was the reason that I studied at an early childhood education program and obtained a 90-hour Head Start certificate in 2010. At this program, I used to make all types of cheesy arts and crafts. I also made a picture book of animals. My niece loved those cheesy projects and would be so excited that I made her stuff. I also worked at numerous jobs which were children centered. I tutored; worked at summer camps and after-school programs. I taught computers in a couple of settings. I also did two internships that focused on children. One was a family service program, which taught parenting and GED classes plus had child development rooms for infants and toddlers (children up to age three). This was my favorite. The other internship was at a substance abuse treatment facility for teens. I gained a lot working in these roles. People in my hometown stop me to this day because they remember me for one reason or another (also my paternal family member has strong genes [lol]).
That bond with my niece hasn’t changed over the years. Her mother (my younger sister) and I are polar opposites in every way possible. While my sister is more outgoing and fun, I am extremely introverted and reserved. I am starting to come out of my shell more. Well, life has a sense of humor. My niece’s personality type is similar to mine, which scares me at times. I see so much of myself in her when I was her age. Let me also say that I have one of the rarest Meyer Briggs personality types (INFJ which stands for Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging). With that being said, it is fair to say my niece may be a little closer to me than her mother.
I try to check on her periodically to see how she is doing. I also try to answer questions she has about life. I try to be for her what I wish I had. Maybe I would be better off if I felt more support at her age. I try to help her with homework. I was always very scholastic. Unfortunately, my niece hates school. She does okay, but I push her to do better. I really want her to go out of state for college. She wasn’t dealt the best hand in life. I think a change of scenery would be good for her. She is at that age where she needs to find herself. I want her to gain some life skills. I want to teach her how to drive. I learned late (mid-thirties). As a result, I want better for her.
My niece and I talk about lots of things, such as her dreams. We talk about her home life. We talk about my and her mother’s upbringing. My niece has always been wise beyond her years. When my ex-husband and I separated, she was a pre-teen. I knew she would be sad since he was really close to him. She tapped me on my right shoulder and said, “It is okay Auntie. I always knew you were the mommy type and uncle {R} was like a child.” Life frustrates my niece and she is doing her best to understand everything. I am honored she values my opinion. I hate the fact that I am always so busy and don’t have a lot of free time. I work a lot and help my elderly parents a lot. I also help take care of my grandmother. I need to free up some time and do better. I own that.
Having these conversations with my niece brings a level of joy to my life that she may never understand. She is honestly one of my favorite people. I feel she came into my life at a time when I needed her. When she was born, I was going through a lot. I was in my early twenties and trying to find myself. I helped raise her. I am proud of the woman she is becoming. In a way, she feels the void I have from not being a mom and my need to nurture. I am trying to teach her how to love herself and how to problem-solve. I use examples from my life to help her. Sadly, our childhoods mirror. My best friend from high school once told me that God did not give me kids because he knew I would have to help my sister. Now I realize he might be right. Everything happens for a reason. I unconditionally love my niece and that won’t change. My main goal is for her to heal and be happy. I want her to be happy in life. I want her to have healthy relationships. Lastly, I want her to be the best person she can be. I want her to reach her full potential and become a strong woman.
My niece is a talented artist. I want her to hone her craft. For as long as I can remember, she loved art. She wants to major in an art field, such as graphic design. I hope she remains passionate with her love of art.
I hope this blog post touched you today. It is important to build people up, especially young people. We never know what someone is dealing with. People have it hard in life. Try to be that bright spot and spread love.
Peace and blessings. ❤ Rayne Elise ❤
Discovery Journey 