Perspectives

Greetings Everyone! I hope you are all well today. With each passing day, I think long and hard about lots of things. This process of evolving is ever changing and can have ups and downs. The thing that I am learning most is to trust this journey where ever it may lead. I know this is easier said than done. However, I am a firm believer that there is a reason and purpose for everything. I just wish I knew what I was supposed to gain from everything ahead of time. In my opinion, things happen as they are supposed to. Please understand that I am in no way, shape or form an expert. I am just a woman who has experienced a lot. I speak about a lot of my individual experiences and how they shaped me to be the person I am today. I am someone who appreciates all experiences, whether good or bad for the lessons I gain from them. I try to explain how I deal with things, as I tend to view the world differently from most people. We are all unique and different with varied personalities, beliefs an experiences. Still, it is my belief that we can all stand to learn a thing or two from one another.

Here is the purpose of today’s post: many of the people in my life lean on me a lot, mostly for emotional support. At one point in time, I studied to be a therapist. Unfortunately various circumstances prevented me from completing this training. At the same time, I realized I needed a therapist because I always had a lot of issues. My journey now is to work through, heal and recover from them. I don’t want people to experience some of the obstacles I have in my life. At the same time, I am a stronger person. Yes, I know there are people who had it worst than me. I don’t diminish anyone’s experience or perception. People are quick to do that to me, which I hate. Every feeling is valid and no one has the right to tell another person otherwise. This could be a reason why suicide rates are high. Lately, I have been seeing a lot of articles about people who are suffering in silence because they fear judgment from those people who are around them. I too battled suicidal ideations in my life, so I understand. I recall a conversation I had with a friend many years ago on this topic. That will be a later post.

I don’t mind people leaning on me. I am honored and blessed that people trust me to share their feelings enough to seek my advice and feedback. Others elect to vent since I am a good listener. My clients also thank me a lot for listening to them and exuding the kindness that many workers in my profession do not. I am an empath who is sensitive and emotional. I am also introverted which means I observe and absorb emotions and vibes from people. I honestly care too much. I try to be what I wish people were for me, much to my detriment and often disappointment. While people feel relieved or better about their respective situations, I am often drained and stressed out.

I am still learning how to balance everything from my own situations. It is hard some days since I really don’t have anyone to lean on when I am in need or really going through stuff. The only person I really have is my father. I am thankful we are super close. I don’t think there is a person alive who understands me the way he does. At the same time, my father is elderly and I don’t want to burden him. He deals with his own issues. Sometimes other people in my life listen to me vent; however, they are often going through their own stuff, which places mine in the background. I can honestly say that I wish many things were different. There is this adage that you can’t pour from an empty cup. In order to be able to help anyone else, you have to help yourself. Now I understand this since I have been experiencing it first hand.

I enjoy helping people. This is one reason why I chose to be a social worker. My father often tells me that I need to clear my head and focus on myself. I will finally take this advice. I have to because I feel like I am losing myself in the way I am going. I wil not stop being a listening ear or heping people. I am startng to realize that this might be my calling and purpose in life. I am cutting back. I will no longer go out of my way to check on people to make sure they are okay since it is rare anyone does that for me. I am working on being assertive and setting boundaries and limits. This is essential for my mental health and growth. I have to remain healthy in order to follow my calling.

I encourage all of the “healing personalities” like myself to do the same. We have to recharge and decompress from the weight of emotions and baggage. We have to focus on healing and freeing ourselves from the traumas that we don’t necessarily speak of. More importantly, we need to deal with the stressors of daily life. If you are like me, you need outlets to cope. I am finding more outlets. At the present time, my favorite outlets are music; cooking; binge-watching my favorite television shows on various streaming platforms, such as “Hell’s Kitchen.” We all need to find something we enjoy to cope. Life is hard enough and we are not immune to the trials and tribulations of life. Life does not come with an instruction manual. No two people will view and experience life the same way. That is why we need to be sensitive to the needs of others. With that being said, my people who like to do all of the leaning on others: while venting is good, people are inundated with their own issues and they can’t always deal with your issues too.

I tried therapy to deal with my issues. I have been in and out of therapy since childhood. I have come to learn therapists tend to be more screwed up than you are. My last therapist took the cake. I went to her for two years. I stopped in March 2020 around when COVID happened. She focused on discussing her family, children, and her personal life more than she helped me. Did I also mention she told me a lot of her other patient’s business? No names were given, but it was a bit much. Overall, therapy was ineffective for me. Maybe because I never found the right provider. At this time, I am not looking for another therapist because I don’t have the time or money. This is why I advocate working on yourself by taking a hard look at everything. Change what needs to be changed. Focus on what’s important. Most importantly, continue to grow. Everyone needs someone to lean on. I don’t dispute that. My point is that people should check on those who are constntly leaned on. The strong ones become weak at times. It is okay. Remember that we all will rise and fall at one point or another. We won’t have all of the answers. The important thing is that you rebound and recover.

Thank you all for your continued support I see that this “Disovery Journey” blog is starting to gain attention. I enjoy feedback. Feel free to email me at emailrayneelise@yahoo.com. Enjoy your day Be blessed.

❤ Rayne Elise ❤