Bosses

Hi Everyone,

I hope you are all well this week. Today, I want to discuss something that is very important – bosses. I have worked in some capacity since the age of 13. I am currently in my mid-30s. I have worked at a lot of different jobs. I have also worked with a lot of different people – especially bosses. I have come to learn that everyone has different personalities. You might be wondering why I made it a point to mention this. Let me explain. My personality is different than most. I am quiet and probably more laid back than most. I am easy going and generally agreeable. I am not as assertive as I could be. Some people describe me as passive. I go out of my way to keep the peace because I hate conflicts and arguing. I disagree with their assessment. At jobs, I am usually among the youngest; if I am not the absolute youngest. I have worked in various industries, such as retail; child care and education; governmental agency; non-profit organizations; office and customer service. I have taught and tutored children. I am happiest working with children. Based on my internships, I have also worked extensively with families and the elderly. I also briefly did a stint in substance abuse treatment for teens where I served as an intake coordinator. I enjoy working. I enjoy helping people. I work extremely hard in every job I do. I put my all into everything. I am not perfect by any means. I also understand that I am not everyone’s cup of tea.

With this being said, I have had a lot of different bosses past and present. The longest job I have ever had is my current position where I have worked for the agency more than ten years. I can tell you some stories. However, I will say this. I am grateful for every person I have worked with in any capacity. I feel strongly that we can stand to learn a thing or two from one another. Unfortunately, many people do not agree with my sentiments. What I mean by that is this – I am not well liked. Co-workers always feel like I am trying to show them up based on my productivity. I am not saying I am the best worker. I try to be as productive and accurate as possible. I learn fast and I do what I am told for the most part. I am often told that bosses I encounter oftentimes feel threatened that I might try to take their jobs. Trust and believe, I don’t want it.

I had a stint as a supervisor for six months. It was honestly one of the worst professional experiences I ever dealt with. My lead worker was older than my parents. In fact, she worked for the agency longer than I had been alive. She was the nastiest person I have ever worked with. She was disgruntle, disrespectful and spiteful. I have a college degree. I also have a master’s degree. I am not trying to be boastful, I am trying to make a point. My immediate supervisor and the office manager did not like me either because I was young. The manager kept telling me that “they were going to grow me up.” Who does that? I hated that position. Due to their lies, I was ultimately demoted. I wasn’t even mad because it was a blessing in disguise.

I had another supervisor who did not like people. She and I had a lot of run ins, as she did with most people. The only time I can remember her being nice to me was when I wore a shirt with the late, great Michael Jackson’s face on it. She was telling me about how her and some of her people were doing the “Thriller dance” in her home country of Nigeria. Outside of that, we really did not have good interactions.

My current supervisor is extremely difficult. Very few people can work with her. I am a type A personality and I am very meticulous. However she takes it to a whole other extreme. Due to the current COVID 19 (global pandemic coronavirus), we are teleworking. While we are teleworking, she calls a lot. A lot of the calls are outside of my working hours, which is really getting on my nerves. Some of the multiple calls last an hour (or longer) and I grow really agitated. My supervisor and I disagree on various things. I recall one day several months ago where I was really upset. Luckily our unit director is someone I really like and get along with. I was really upset one day when I went to work. My director noticed my demeanor and asked me what was wrong. I kept it to myself for a while because I don’t like to cause problems. I mentioned some of the issues I was having with my supervisor at the time. My director listened. I know the issues were recurring ones my supervisor hd with other people. Remember, I am relatively new to my current position, having being there for less than a year. Learning any new job can be stressful and frustrating. The learning curve is challenging. However, having a boss that nitpicks about everything a person does is even worse. I almost quit several times because of how overbearing my supervisor is. She changed her approach some. Everyone can’t be wrong.

I have nothing against anyone. I will try to get along with everyone. Yes. I know and understand some of my interactions and relationships with people are me too. I am very open and honest. No matter how I treat people; or how much I do, I am not well liked. Maybe it is because of the people I work with. I am a nontraditional person. I rarely fit in or assimilate into the environments I am in. One of my friends always tell me that I need to surround myself with like-minded intellectuals outside of my home city. Perhaps he is right.

Not all of my experiences with bosses were bad. I had some really good ones. Some people who were fair and all about empowering and teaching their staff. One such boss is one of my friends. I have known her for years. She has always been a mentor to me. She was blunt, but always fair. She understood everyone’s feelings on various things. If I ever decide to become a boss, I want to emulate her style. She was graceful. She was knowledgeable. She was firm and commanded authority. She hated drama and dealt with all issues. She was fun. She is elderly now, and I hope to be as dynamic as she is one day.

Another boss, I watched her grow from the same role I was and she worked her way up. She is similar to the previous boss I described, but she does not play. She is verbal and commands authority. Another boss I had was pleasant and as sweet as she could be. She was kind to everyone. In fact, I do not think I ever saw her upset. I knew another person as a boss who had more drama than a soap opera. I understand things happen. However she was unable to really do her job due to the persistent drama.

I would like to think I observe people. I am extremely intuitive and empathetic, I absorb emotions. As an African-American female, I have experienced every work scenario possible. I have been sexually harassed by a boss. I worked in a retail job where the boss slept with a lot of his subordinates. In more than one role, people assumed I slept with bosses, which was never the case. I don’t believe in that. If that is how I will get ahead, I will stay where I am at. I had bosses tear me down. I would never treat anyone like that.

I feel strongly that everyone is not meant to be a boss. Personality wise, I might not be the best boss. All bosses should be trained and well versed in employee relations; conflict resolution; decorum; training and resources. Remember you need your people. Good bosses will always get more out of people than required. Bad bosses will get the bare minimum at best. Learn your employees. Understand every approach does not work with everyone. Micromanaging does not work in most cases, unless you have a problem employee who really needs it. Remember there are checks and balances in every situation. Bosses should not have issues with the person who is different from them in any category that people use to divide others. Bosses should lead by example. Bosses should do everything possible to ensure employee morale is up. Based on my experiences and educational background, it is my goal to become a Human Resources consultant. I think a lot of changes should be made in the current scope and realm of bosses. Do not hesitate to let me know what you think. Email me at EmailRayneElise@yahoo.com.

Thank you for your time. Be blessed ~Rayne Elise