Dating

Hi Everyone,

This is a topic that is very important to me. I don’t have a lot of experience with dating, because I know the caliber of men who usually pursue me. I have spoke a lot about the one relationship I had. Now I will talk about the category of men who have tried – f–k boys.

Please understand that I am thankful for everyone who finds me attractive or intriguing. All of my various social media pages are filled with men in all areas of the world who are seeking a girlfriend, wife, mother for their children or simply a sex partner. Please further understand that I am not interested in any of them at this time in my life. There is one person in particular who I would give a chance to.

After my relationship ended with my ex-husband, I tried to date. Maybe not date in the traditional sense, but I did entertain some men. I met two men in person from my social media pages. Both were bad experiences. I will not lie and say that both were sex related. I slept with one and the other was on some straight foolishness. In fact, the second one happened on my 34th birthday. He played so many games. I fell into the trap of the foolishness. I admit I did and I am not proud of that. I remained angry at him and myself for a while as a result. However it was a big life lesson and the reason why I finally gave up on trying. This post is not to bash anyone. This is to talk about my experiences with men. For the most part, they were not good experiences. 

I am honest in the sense that I have trust issues. I am very vocal about that. I am not as far along in my healing as I would like to be from my ex-husband. I have made a lot of progress, but the deep rooted pain is still there. I have taken the last few years to focus on me and become the best version of myself that I can be. I am a work in progress. I understand there are some good men out there. Here is a salute to the good men. Unfortunately, there are very few good men that I have encountered, which saddens me. At the same time, I know what I attract.

Dating has always been a challenge for me. I only had one real relationship and it was a bad one. I am thankful for that experience, as it forced me to learn how to love myself after years of emotional abuse. This is the reason why I refuse to settle now. I no longer accept the nonsense that I did in the past because I have been hurt too many times.

For instance, I recently met a man at one of the local metro subway stations. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I reluctantly gave him my number. He did not give me his. He called me instantly. At that time, my phone was on silent because I was heading to a job interview. I was in a rush. A couple of days later, he kept trying to video chat using the Google Duo app. He never identified himself. I refused to answer it. I texted him and asked him who he was. He told me and asked me to come see him if I was not busy. I was extremely turned off. First impressions are everything to me. He never gave me a good impression. He likely only wants sex. I hate to have this mindset, but it has been a repeated pattern.

Another instance was a man at my former part time job. He was cool. We were friends, or so I thought. He told me that I would make him hard at work. He also used to get too familiar and kiss my neck. I gave him my number, but I did not know he had a girlfriend. It was the same story and a lot of drama with him too. I eventually quit that part time job partly because of him.

I have a friend now who I love in a way I have never loved anyone – ex-husband included. We are very close. We talk often. He treats me good. I would give him a chance before anyone else. I hope we try it at some point.

I have countless stories about the f–k boy types that approach me on a regular basis. These are just a few examples, with the exception of my friend. I admit I had low self esteem, which is partly why I accepted the foolishness. My purpose in sharing is for all people to love themselves to avoid some of the pitfalls and traps that I fell into. I salute real men, like my friend and a handful of others that I have experienced. Stay vigilant and blessed my friends. Use discernment and caution in dating.  Enjoy your day. ~ Rayne Elise.